


Deliverance

by xoElle23



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Adoption, F/F, F/M, Plans For The Future, i'm literally copy&pasting so ignore any errors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 06:11:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14074635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoElle23/pseuds/xoElle23
Summary: Finally posting my old stories to AO3. This one is from 3/28/14.“Because no matter what happens, it’s always going to be there. And maybe for once instead of fighting so much I should just let myself be happy.” My take on how the season one finale should have went.





	Deliverance

**Author's Note:**

> You know how this works. When things don’t go the way I want, I write it out. Enjoy my version of how the finale should have went. Oh, and there are no daddy or Dani issues here. Thank god.

The process actually doesn’t take that long.

Everything is already in order, so when their turn comes the entire group heads into the courtroom and the moms and two Jacob siblings approach the front. A judge reads over some sort of document basically stating what’s about to happen just for the records and suddenly all that’s left to do is sign.

Jude goes first, his signature even messier than usual due to excitement, and his face is filled with joy as Lena and Stef sign after him. His file is passed to the judge and a murmur is heard among the many onlookers holding off their celebration until both cases are closed. 

And then suddenly it’s her turn.

Callie gives the moms a nervous grin as she picks up the pen, sliding her hand down to the line clearly marked with a big red X. It’s silent now, and she’s almost positive that her hammering heartbeat can be heard by everyone in the room as she stares at the solid black line patiently awaiting her signature. All she has to do is sign her name and it’ll be official. She’ll be a Foster. Daughter of Stef and Lena, with four legal siblings and everything else that comes with that family package. Her life is about to change. Forever.

“Callie, honey?”

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until Lena’s hand on her shoulder snaps her out of her reverie. Glancing up, her gaze turns from the concerned faces of Stef and Lena to the confused judge and then back to the paper.

“Can I just- I need a minute,” She finally chokes, pen falling from her hand as she takes a few unsteady steps back. “Can I please just have a minute?”

She stumbles towards the door without waiting for a response, picking up speed as she moves. Suddenly she’s into the hallway running, running, running until she’s gasping for air and finally collapses to her knees just outside the back entrance of the courthouse.

The entire world is spinning and she feels like she’s going to be sick as her heart hammers furiously inside of her chest. Desperately trying to get oxygen to her burning lungs, her vision begins to blur and through her tears she can’t help but wonder if this is what dying feels like.

“You’re alright. You’re okay, love. It’s okay.” Suddenly a calming voice reaches her ears and several soothing hands can be felt rubbing her back.

“Just keep taking deep breaths, Callie. In through your nose, out through your mouth,” Another voice instructs, just as gentle. “You’re having a panic attack sweetheart. You need to breathe. Focus on that. In and out, in and out,”

She does as instructed and concentrates on the rush of air entering and leaving her body. In and out. In and out. In and out. After a few moments her vision begins to clear and her heart, while still pounding at the speed of light, has slowed a bit. Her level of nausea also lessens slightly.

“Honey, talk to us.” Stef pushes a loose strand of hair behind the younger girl’s ear, eyes filled with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry,” Callie whimpers, but Lena quickly waves her apology away.

“Sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for.” She promises. “We’re just worried about you. Clearly something happened to make you react this way and we want to help.”

Callie shakes her head furiously. “I can’t,” she sobs. “You’re gonna hate me. I hate me.”

“Callie, listen to me,” Stef makes sure they’re eyes are locked before continuing, her voice loud and clear, “There is not a single thing in this world you could ever do to make us hate you. Do you hear me? Not a thing. No matter what happens we will always, always love you. Every single day, no matter what.”

“Honey, please tell us what’s going on.” Lena begs as the younger girl continues to sob. “We promise we won’t be mad. We just want to help you.”

“I want to be your daughter.” Callie whimpers when she finally manages to speak. “I swear I do. But I can’t be adopted.”

“Okay,” Stef ignores the shard of glass going through her heart at the teen’s words and nods, encouraging Callie to continue. They can’t do anything if they don’t know what she’s talking about, so Stef pushes forward. “Okay, sweetheart, but what makes you say that?”

“I want to be your daughter.” She repeats hoarsely, tears streaming down her cheeks. “But I can’t. I can’t.”

Lena places a gentle hand on Callie’s shoulder, almost desperate as she asks, “Honey why not?”

Callie lets out a strangled sob. “Because I’m supposed to be thinking about how excited I am to become a part of your family,” she finally explains. “And the moment I picked up that pen the only thing that came to my mind was Brandon.”

She knows she’s stumped them when no noise comes out of either woman’s mouth for almost a solid minute following her confession. Finally pulling her hands away from her face, she looks up to find both moms staring at each other, clearly in some sort of silent parent conversation- the kind only understandable to those participating in it and leaving onlookers completely confused.

“I’m so sorry.” Callie repeats with a miserable shake of her head. “I tried not to. I tried so hard, I promise. I did. I tried.” She sniffs. “And I really thought I could do it. I told myself that this was for the best and I’d get over it and it would get easier and eventually it would just…go away.” She shrugs helplessly. “But then I picked up that pen and instead of seeing everything I was about to get, I saw everything I would lose. I saw college in New York and birthdays and graduations and a little studio apartment found in a newspaper ad; I saw people saying vows in a church.” Callie whispers tearfully. “And I saw him experiencing all of that with someone else who wasn’t me.” She wipes at her eyes. “And I know I ruined this. I ruined the whole day and I wasted everyone’s time and Jude is going to be furious when he finds out and I probably broke both of your hearts and made you hate me,” Callie bites her bottom lip as a fresh wave of tears begins to fall. “But I just- I just can’t.”

“Oh honey,” Stef lets out a sigh and pulls her in for a hug. “It’s okay,” She whispers. “It’s okay.”

“We don’t hate you, sweetie.” Lena promises, leaning into the hug as well. “We’re sad, of course, but what we said before still stands. We still love you just as much and we always will.”

“We just didn’t realize it was this serious.” Stef murmurs, causing the teenager to chuckle humorlessly.

“Neither did I. I think. Maybe I did, on some level.” She frowns. “I don’t know. I tried not to let it happen, to ignore it, I tried moving on…”

“We know you did, baby. You both did.” The blonde sighs again. “We’re going to figure this out, okay? Everything is going to be alright. We promise. We’ll get everything straightened out and find some sort of solution that allows everyone to be happy. Okay?”

Callie wipes at her eyes. “How?”

“We’re not exactly sure yet.” Lena admits. “But we’ll figure it out together, just like we always do. And no, you’re not going anywhere. So don’t even think that, alright? Nobody is taking you and you are not leaving, understood? Promise right now you aren’t going anywhere.”

As always, her first instinct is to run. Take off at warp speed and get the hell away so she can spare this family any more heartbreak than the endless damage she’s already caused. But despite the fact that she can’t sign the paper, she realizes that this family is still hers. And she can’t abandon them, not again.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she says honestly. “Not unless all of you are coming with me. I promise.”

“Papers or no papers, you’re stuck with us.” Stef vows, pressing a kiss against her temple before Callie nods.

“You’re stuck with me too.”

[Fosters]

Despite the fact that it’s a huge coward move, she can’t bring herself to go inside. Not yet. She knows she made the right choice for her and ultimately she has no honest regrets, but facing an entire room full of people right now knowing she’s let them down… she can’t face it.

The moms understand, of course, and tell her to sit tight. They’ll take care of everything and come get her when it’s time to leave. Just stay put. And she knows they truly do trust her when they leave her without a babysitter. There’s no question now, the days of running are over.

It doesn’t really come as a surprise when the door opens ten minutes later and a familiar figure takes a seat next to her on the gravel, their backs resting against peeling paint covering the building’s aging bricks.

“It wasn’t your fault.” She states finally, causing her counterpart to nod.

“I know.”

“And I don’t want you to think that I’m settling,” she continues. “For second best or that this is some twisted form of self sabotage or something. Because it’s not.”

Again, she receives a nod.

“I know.”

“I guess when it came down to it, in the end, I knew that by signing those papers I would live the rest of my life regretting and wondering what could have been.” She says slowly. “Because no matter what happens, it’s always going to be there. And maybe for once instead of fighting so much I should just let myself be happy. And that’s what you are to me. You’re my happiness and my sadness and my anger, and all my fears and wishes and dreams.”

Brandon smiles, “Good,” he says simply. “Because you’re my whole world,”

Callie wants to smack herself when a fresh wave of tears begin to fall, but she can’t even grasp the concept of anger right now because she’s so freaking happy.

“You’re mine too.” She promises, and again silence falls over them until Brandon lets out a long breath, causing her to frown in confusion.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he says, giving her a small smile. “It’s just… today. This whole thing.”

“Yeah,” Callie nods, still not following. “What about it?”

“I was just thinking,” Brandon chuckles. “This is one hell of a way to go just to say you love me.”

By now the gap between them is closing and suddenly his forehead is against hers and he’s close enough that Callie can admire the six faint freckles sprinkled across his nose.

“There’s no going back after this.” Brandon reminds her, his warning a faint whisper against her skin.

“I know.” she assures him. “I love you Brandon Foster. More than anything in the entire world. And as terrifying as it is to think about, finally being able to admit it makes me feel more at ease than I have in a long time.”

“That’s really good to hear,” B smiles. “Because I love you too. I always have.”

It isn’t until after their lips connect that she feels the wetness splash against her skin. Pulling back just an inch they both raise their gazes to witness the rain start to fall. Weather like this isn’t a common occurrence in California but perhaps, Callie thinks to herself, maybe this unpredicted shower is Mother Nature’s way of letting out her own sigh of relief.

“You wanna go inside?” Brandon asks, clearly prepared to stand up and rush back to the safety of the court house. But Callie simply shakes her head and grins.

“No,” she declines. “No, I’m happy right here. We’ll be okay.” And even beyond the rain, she knows it’s the truth. The road ahead isn’t clear and there are still a lot of things to work out, a lot of discussions and inevitable arguments and surely a few tears, but everything will work out.

They’ll all be just fine.

end.


End file.
